We did get moved and found a home, and a year into this new home we are still "adjusting"...it has been a financial nightmare indeed! When you buy a home, remember to get a "home warranty". Unlike us, whom decided we would not need it, and ended up replacing every godforsaken appliance in this place before February. The furnace still has an issue, that we have let go because we have a wood burning furnace that heats the home instead of using gas, but still! In case of emergency it should work properly.
So in the matter of the children...well so many little things, tooo many to mention and name. Since we've been to our new home it has been a whole different world. The kids are not far from my parents, which Grace thoroughly enjoys, and we are not much farther from town than 30 minute drive like we were before.
We discovered that Kevin's OM "other mother" David's ex, has decided she needs to find herself moving back into the "windmill projects" where her stepdad and mother just recently moved from...they have a tiny trailer on a tiny lot smack dab in the middle of those dang blasted windmills. She has yet to reveal this information, although we know her lease on her apt is coming up due to resign, and since they will NEVER be able to sell the little lot with the little trailer...she might as well live there RENT free right?!? Have I mentioned "OM" has not paid her $39 and some change a month child support since last May? Yeah really! And she's got a nice paying job at a nice company here in town. She also managed to divorce her husband right at the year mark of marrying him in Aug 2009. Kevin divulged the tidbit of information on her moving...and that helps tons. At least we are soon to be expecting an argument on pickup and drop offs.
Since she stopped paying her CS (child support) we've managed to keep an even ground with her. She's not all bipolar and freaking out. She's kept it cool with us...I think so we won't take her back to court...but wait...there's much more coming her way and she has no idea just yet.
As for Grace she's alive and doing well I suppose...when school started I took on her little brother Ethan (my ex husband's son), watching him before and after school, and I've been doing a gazillion cakes, which I love love love to do. It substitutes my time and generates a little money for odds and ends. Grace has been doing well in her studies and I can't be happier...she's coming into her own personality more and more, although I could do without the awful moodswings that are reminiscent of her mother at 13. I was horrible! I can only imagine a year from now you will find me in that padded room..as she asks her grandmothers to buy her "unmentionables" for her.
I really can't imagine life any other way. Kevin knows where his home is and continues to threaten "I'm going to live with you forever, mommy" but in the same breath say "I'm going to move out when I'm 16 so I can own a gun." The story there is, I won't let him have a gun in my home, even a toy one...I fear he does not respect these types of weapons enough yet to know that you don't point them at people because they will die. Although he has a severe prefascination for them. The saddest part to it all is, is he wants to "learn to hunt" just so he can have a gun. Let's just say, it's going to be a battle. We have found no other interests he has except for playing video games on the wii and during the summer being in the pool and in the water. He loved baseball last year, but we are skipping it this year because he needs to practice writing. He's not doing so hot with that, but his progress in reading is now OFF the Charts! He's in the 95% where as when he started the school year he was only in the category of "does he hold the book right to read it." So kudos for that!
They say that writing will follow, but to manage for him to get a thought on paper is like pulling a tooth that's dangling by one thread, although very simple...he throws a huge fit, that it's "JUST TOO HARD"...and I've come to realize he's an all or nothing child...if he can't do it right the first time he doesn't even want to try, and he knows he's not spellig his words right, so why put forth the effort. Yup, that's kevin....and boy if he doesn't win a level at the wii, he'd much rather give up and play a different game than to challenge himself.
David and I are doing well, we are coping as best we can with all involved. I started a group on FB in light of many occurances with the "OM" and named it Drama Wednesday, it's a select group of ladies, we can get on and vent with and get support. I'm super happy to have started it because it's become a great area for my closest and dearest to stay connected when we can and vent frustrations and share ideas, and give each other suport. It's been a blessing in disguise, and I guess that's why I let the blog lag...in fact ALOT...we moved, and I got lost. ha ha ha
Go figure. Such as life! Another trial, that we are now surviving. Now the goals for this new year is to get out and visit our long lost missed family members and friends we have not gotten to see out of state. I don't know how we'll manage...but we are going to try to find a way! *fingers and toes crossed*
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Waiting on Baited Breath....
So if you were one of the one's following my blog and waiting with baited breath...guess what, I quit writing...and guess what!!! Kevin is now 6 going on seven and Grace turned 11 in December!!! We've missed so much together! So let's get started on to the new adventures!
I promise, you will not have to wait long...I'll be back to blogging either tonight or tomorrow...although tomorrow I think is best. :0) Happy Tuesday...now let's move on already!
I promise, you will not have to wait long...I'll be back to blogging either tonight or tomorrow...although tomorrow I think is best. :0) Happy Tuesday...now let's move on already!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
2 hrs sleep in two days...and still going....
Yes it's 12:12 a.m. and it's been a rough rough day. Court 9:30 a.m. was eventful. For those of you who did not know, David's ex started some stuff about a month ago and got confrontational in front of Kevin, which left him distressed, frightened, and lying to his mommy "D" (that's the ex), oh and let me add he was confused. It's been a very rough rough month for us.
With the fight of the windmill project, I have succeeded in getting through to the farmer, and I think the Horizon Wind Energy's pocketbook contributed to Mr. Farmer buying our home. We are getting out! Not for what we should have gotten for losing the home we had a love/hate relationship...but the blood sweat and tears have to be left behind.
But I digress back to mommy "D", she presented a situation as an immature child and not as an adult addressing questions and issues with discipline in front of Kevin...due to the fact that supposedly at random he says "Mommy Misty puts soap in my mouth if I call her Step Mom"....here we go again....the soap thing, he was threatened...because he dropped his bike on his leg about two weeks before and outright said G.D.!!!! in the right context...now I told him if that language was to continue, you are pretty darn tootin' we would revisit "The Christmas Story" that at one time was very acceptable for foul language usage...and in my own childhood VERY effective.
David and I's conclusion as it has been happening for two years...is that she was continually harrassing him once again about calling me step mom and that she is mom...so to shut her up...he told her that...ha ha...bright boy, but made her mad as a wet hen! And she got confrontational...so the letter was sent...yes the letter.
David asked me to compose a letter to her, stating that her behavior was uncalled for and unacceptable, and by the divorce decree, and as her wanting the title of mother, she need to pretty much (nicely stated and legally to the point) step up to the plate, but that until we met with our lawyer for advice we felt the need until we came to a formal agreement that visitation be withheld.
I came up with some "type" of agreement...but the lying idiotic twit handwrote a letter on notebook paper and filed it with the Benton Circuit County Court where they had their divorce finalized....and here we are at 9:30 a.m. documentation in hand...
The smirking judge reads her and explains to her the divorce decree she agreed to and signed and let her know in nice terms...with the struggle of not laughing in her face...that yes..she can have the change of visitation...since she got on the stand and confessed she's been doing it for two years already, but that she is responsible for the financial support of Kevin! Downfall...she fibbed and said she only made $13K last year...ha ha ha...she is requested to turn in W2's to our lawyer for 2008 so we can reevaluate...as it stands she is only $4.00 away from a pay increase to be financially "responsible"...she even tried to use her youngest "in high school unwed mother daugther and grandchild as a hardship" but then we let them know that the man she is married to, is the father of the daughter living with her, and the judge says with another smirk..."Well with that fact now mentioned, that hardship does not apply to the fact you are financially responsible for Kevin."
Point is, she left mad...we are to know follow the Indiana State Parenting guidelines...and that has been changed, and her visitation schedule that we currently do is now filed with the courts. From now on every year we are going to request W2's until she is able to be financially responsible...I have a feeling the W2 is going to come back being what we thought...much more than what she said in court...and guess what, she owes! But no back pay...and that's okay.
Mind you this started by her behavior of constantly harrassing Kevin over calling me mom...and what does she expect, I taught him how to talk, he lives with me 90% of the time, and Grace calls me mom or mommy...you expect the child not to do the same. We've told him he can label anyone in the family as he chooses, he knows our labels...our names, and who we are, and it's his choice...he's still five, and he's ADOPTED and a product of a divorce...do you really expect him to understand this? Do you expect him not to be confused? Wouldn't you just be happier, and him too, if he was allowed to have many mommies and daddies, and lots of family who loves him? I know I would, and I do...and David and I agree that that's how we are going to raise him...no psychological warfare.
Her lying made her look like an idiot..her comprehension of the agreement she signed for her divorce made her look like an idiot...and her changing her visitation to be recorded in the court...to get her to "not be responsible" for her child's welfare and support...was just plain well...do I really need to say it? Maybe it will open her eyes to the fact, that her confrontations, and her being reluctant to visit with him, the psychological warfare is not going to get her anywhere, and hopefully bring Kevin so peace and happiness when visiting his other family...we shall see.
After all, Friday is visitation day, and the Guidelines BEGIN! :0)
***Footnote, I wish that sometimes David and "D" could at least come to the understanding that I know I have with my ex...we can still be somewhat "friends" and jovial...we just couldn't communicate and be partners...just didn't work... Difference here...is that when someone is being a butt due to a bad day, we hang up on each other, and try again later...it's like riding a bike..you fall off but you get right back on...this is for the kids after all...it's not about you. If you didn't figure that out when you were in the process of making them, having them, and birthing them...you figure it out soon...the world doesn't revolve around you, it's all about THE KIDS!!!! THEY ARE OUR FUTURE!
--Back to the House.... Sold it Monday night...should be closed on deal by mid August...have to find a house and fast...we can rent up until Jan here...but well...the sooner we find a house and sign, the better...and I think we may have found "the one" already...just got to figure out where the money is coming and going from...ugh...I wish I was already driving my pink caddy... Too many houses to mention from 1 - 7:15 this evening..but the kids were drained by five...and well...it's now 12:45 a.m. and guess what...I'm still up, with only 2 hrs sleep, racking my brain on so many decisions.
And ladies! I forgot to mention...
Interested in a free makeover? Visit me, your Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant: www.marykay.com/mromack
Have fun with it...I'm still trying to assist my family in the move and adjustment to the new "beginnings" in our lives.
Hope everyone is more sane than I because I definitely know I'm not if I have had no sleep and am blogging! Love you all! Misty
With the fight of the windmill project, I have succeeded in getting through to the farmer, and I think the Horizon Wind Energy's pocketbook contributed to Mr. Farmer buying our home. We are getting out! Not for what we should have gotten for losing the home we had a love/hate relationship...but the blood sweat and tears have to be left behind.
But I digress back to mommy "D", she presented a situation as an immature child and not as an adult addressing questions and issues with discipline in front of Kevin...due to the fact that supposedly at random he says "Mommy Misty puts soap in my mouth if I call her Step Mom"....here we go again....the soap thing, he was threatened...because he dropped his bike on his leg about two weeks before and outright said G.D.!!!! in the right context...now I told him if that language was to continue, you are pretty darn tootin' we would revisit "The Christmas Story" that at one time was very acceptable for foul language usage...and in my own childhood VERY effective.
David and I's conclusion as it has been happening for two years...is that she was continually harrassing him once again about calling me step mom and that she is mom...so to shut her up...he told her that...ha ha...bright boy, but made her mad as a wet hen! And she got confrontational...so the letter was sent...yes the letter.
David asked me to compose a letter to her, stating that her behavior was uncalled for and unacceptable, and by the divorce decree, and as her wanting the title of mother, she need to pretty much (nicely stated and legally to the point) step up to the plate, but that until we met with our lawyer for advice we felt the need until we came to a formal agreement that visitation be withheld.
I came up with some "type" of agreement...but the lying idiotic twit handwrote a letter on notebook paper and filed it with the Benton Circuit County Court where they had their divorce finalized....and here we are at 9:30 a.m. documentation in hand...
The smirking judge reads her and explains to her the divorce decree she agreed to and signed and let her know in nice terms...with the struggle of not laughing in her face...that yes..she can have the change of visitation...since she got on the stand and confessed she's been doing it for two years already, but that she is responsible for the financial support of Kevin! Downfall...she fibbed and said she only made $13K last year...ha ha ha...she is requested to turn in W2's to our lawyer for 2008 so we can reevaluate...as it stands she is only $4.00 away from a pay increase to be financially "responsible"...she even tried to use her youngest "in high school unwed mother daugther and grandchild as a hardship" but then we let them know that the man she is married to, is the father of the daughter living with her, and the judge says with another smirk..."Well with that fact now mentioned, that hardship does not apply to the fact you are financially responsible for Kevin."
Point is, she left mad...we are to know follow the Indiana State Parenting guidelines...and that has been changed, and her visitation schedule that we currently do is now filed with the courts. From now on every year we are going to request W2's until she is able to be financially responsible...I have a feeling the W2 is going to come back being what we thought...much more than what she said in court...and guess what, she owes! But no back pay...and that's okay.
Mind you this started by her behavior of constantly harrassing Kevin over calling me mom...and what does she expect, I taught him how to talk, he lives with me 90% of the time, and Grace calls me mom or mommy...you expect the child not to do the same. We've told him he can label anyone in the family as he chooses, he knows our labels...our names, and who we are, and it's his choice...he's still five, and he's ADOPTED and a product of a divorce...do you really expect him to understand this? Do you expect him not to be confused? Wouldn't you just be happier, and him too, if he was allowed to have many mommies and daddies, and lots of family who loves him? I know I would, and I do...and David and I agree that that's how we are going to raise him...no psychological warfare.
Her lying made her look like an idiot..her comprehension of the agreement she signed for her divorce made her look like an idiot...and her changing her visitation to be recorded in the court...to get her to "not be responsible" for her child's welfare and support...was just plain well...do I really need to say it? Maybe it will open her eyes to the fact, that her confrontations, and her being reluctant to visit with him, the psychological warfare is not going to get her anywhere, and hopefully bring Kevin so peace and happiness when visiting his other family...we shall see.
After all, Friday is visitation day, and the Guidelines BEGIN! :0)
***Footnote, I wish that sometimes David and "D" could at least come to the understanding that I know I have with my ex...we can still be somewhat "friends" and jovial...we just couldn't communicate and be partners...just didn't work... Difference here...is that when someone is being a butt due to a bad day, we hang up on each other, and try again later...it's like riding a bike..you fall off but you get right back on...this is for the kids after all...it's not about you. If you didn't figure that out when you were in the process of making them, having them, and birthing them...you figure it out soon...the world doesn't revolve around you, it's all about THE KIDS!!!! THEY ARE OUR FUTURE!
--Back to the House.... Sold it Monday night...should be closed on deal by mid August...have to find a house and fast...we can rent up until Jan here...but well...the sooner we find a house and sign, the better...and I think we may have found "the one" already...just got to figure out where the money is coming and going from...ugh...I wish I was already driving my pink caddy... Too many houses to mention from 1 - 7:15 this evening..but the kids were drained by five...and well...it's now 12:45 a.m. and guess what...I'm still up, with only 2 hrs sleep, racking my brain on so many decisions.
And ladies! I forgot to mention...
Interested in a free makeover? Visit me, your Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant: www.marykay.com/mromack
Have fun with it...I'm still trying to assist my family in the move and adjustment to the new "beginnings" in our lives.
Hope everyone is more sane than I because I definitely know I'm not if I have had no sleep and am blogging! Love you all! Misty
Friday, July 10, 2009
Today is Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!
A weekend where David and I should not have the children but under circumstances have them both! And I couldn't be happier about that. :0) We are now going to be eating mexican food at 6:15 and I'm looking forward to the end of the day.
For those who have been personally emailed the drama...pray for us, and for little Kevin. We are going to do our best, to help him as best we can. I love little man. It was so sad this morning, he said, "Mommy, I want to go home...I miss you..I don't want you to go to work over and over again in the morning." This made me tear up, the little guy is having withdrawals because I've worked all week...we have not had much time for just kids and mommy this week.
As for so many other things going on my head, I have to get on the phone, start searching for support groups online, and do the research to manage to accumulate all I can on what we can do to make the "battle" easier over Kevin. Wether the lawyer thinks it's feasible for us to fight her to sign him over, or just to take her for the cash...who knows...but what I want...is for her to either stop harrassing the confused little boy and let him grow and be happy. David and I counted up the hours last night that she has him from friday night, to sunday afternoon...once you take into account sleep time and naps...she gets exactly 48 hrs a month with him and that's not ONE on ONE time either. You do the math... :0( So disheartening.
I can't believe in a few weeks the kids will be starting school, and Monday I have to go to the BMV to get gracie an ID, so she can go with Dianna (her father's mom) to see her aunt Eve (her father's sister) in Washington D.C. Just so amazing, it'll be her first plane ride and I won't be with her. :0( But glad she gets the opportunity to do something fun this summer with her other family.
Wow...so much to do!!!!!
For those who have been personally emailed the drama...pray for us, and for little Kevin. We are going to do our best, to help him as best we can. I love little man. It was so sad this morning, he said, "Mommy, I want to go home...I miss you..I don't want you to go to work over and over again in the morning." This made me tear up, the little guy is having withdrawals because I've worked all week...we have not had much time for just kids and mommy this week.
As for so many other things going on my head, I have to get on the phone, start searching for support groups online, and do the research to manage to accumulate all I can on what we can do to make the "battle" easier over Kevin. Wether the lawyer thinks it's feasible for us to fight her to sign him over, or just to take her for the cash...who knows...but what I want...is for her to either stop harrassing the confused little boy and let him grow and be happy. David and I counted up the hours last night that she has him from friday night, to sunday afternoon...once you take into account sleep time and naps...she gets exactly 48 hrs a month with him and that's not ONE on ONE time either. You do the math... :0( So disheartening.
I can't believe in a few weeks the kids will be starting school, and Monday I have to go to the BMV to get gracie an ID, so she can go with Dianna (her father's mom) to see her aunt Eve (her father's sister) in Washington D.C. Just so amazing, it'll be her first plane ride and I won't be with her. :0( But glad she gets the opportunity to do something fun this summer with her other family.
Wow...so much to do!!!!!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Safety warning....
Okay, so everyone knows Kevin's birthday came and went on Friday July 3rd. We had a small kids pool party with Elana's boys Tristan and Donovan and Grace in the pool with Kevin, while the adults sat around and chatted. It was a great time.
Kevin received two identical Batmobiles...and they have proved to be a joy! They wind up and it shoots across the floor and makes lots of noise then shoots some type of missile. GREAATTT!!!!...the best part....he wound it up...and placed it on his chest!!!!!! WOOOUCH!!!! Screaming like a banshee....
Now thanks to Gma Phillis and her story of Uncle Brice placing his wind up van in his hair, he decided that hair was not the way to go....so let's try flesh!
Needless to say a few tears later and an ice pack placed strategically on the left side of his chest and an ibuprofren for any swelling he was fine.
Monday, he was sitting at the table still very away there is bruising, but so happy that, "Mommy see, it still pokes out! I didn't rip my nipple off!" ha ha ha ha ha
So safety warning.....wind up cars belong on the floor, not on any part of your anatomy or you may lose it. ha!
Kevin received two identical Batmobiles...and they have proved to be a joy! They wind up and it shoots across the floor and makes lots of noise then shoots some type of missile. GREAATTT!!!!...the best part....he wound it up...and placed it on his chest!!!!!! WOOOUCH!!!! Screaming like a banshee....
Now thanks to Gma Phillis and her story of Uncle Brice placing his wind up van in his hair, he decided that hair was not the way to go....so let's try flesh!
Needless to say a few tears later and an ice pack placed strategically on the left side of his chest and an ibuprofren for any swelling he was fine.
Monday, he was sitting at the table still very away there is bruising, but so happy that, "Mommy see, it still pokes out! I didn't rip my nipple off!" ha ha ha ha ha
So safety warning.....wind up cars belong on the floor, not on any part of your anatomy or you may lose it. ha!
It's been a long long time.....
Yes, party people, I am alive and well. Or so I might not be so well...but what can you say about an ulcer? Or high acidity levels when it comes to stress.
In light of all that is going on, let me fill you in. Well as it comes and goes, Grace continued to have many problems when it came to school, there for a while the teacher and I really thought that she would come out of it, but then the last two weeks, the behavioral became an issue again.
So Grace was recommended for ADD/ADHD evaluation and testing. In the progressing months since I last posted, her anxiety level has skyrocketed. I can not walk out to the garage to get food from the freezer for preperation, I can not be in the yard, without her hunting me down every five minutes. Culprit is her sleep pattern. She is not sleeping near as much as she should. We met with the pediatrician in june, and grace is on a sleep aid/anti depressant. The evaluations from her teachers have yet to be returned to Dr. Woodman as of yet. After Dr. Woodman did her evaluation and interviewed Grace herself, her suspicions are of ADHD...Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder...Grace hyper? Nooooo.... Seriously.
But her constant fidgiting and unability to sit still unless she is doing a project she is performing that she PREFERS to do is the only possible way, and even then she seems to get up and dance in her seat, which I as a mother NEVER noticed before. I was in shock and disbelief. In fact if you want to know the truth, since April, I literally have dived into major research about the disorder and tried to figure out exactly what we need to do, and possibilities for treatment. I also struggled with the fact that we have to have acceptance from the family members for her treatment, which may sound easy, but RITALIN has literally has been giving treatment a bad rap for years!!!!!! It's not like they haven't improved medication since then.
I am one to be the hardest to convince that my child needs treatment. But at the same time, she is mimicking behaviors of her father...and as little time as she spends with him, not all of it is environmentally learned. This is genetic. He has graduated from borderline personality disorder to now manic behaviors and severe anxiety, which he is medicated for.
Our issue here, is that Kevin is now mimmicking some attitude and behaviors from his sister...which causes us great concern. How much of it is really him, and how much of it is his sister. We know genetically he may not be perfect (due to his biological parents, since he is adopted), but we really need to understand and define between what is what.
My current struggle is I'm writing a book on all of this.... and now Kevin's "other mother" my husband's ex wife, is now causing issues. Still after two years of Kevin talking and calling me mom, she continues to harrass Kevin about family member name labels. And was confrontational when the little boy told her, "they'll put soap in my mouth if I call her Misty." Why does he have to lie and say something like that to get her to stop, why does his rights as a child have to be compromised by not letting him be a happy child, why continue to confuse him about his upbringing? Isn't it hard enough already for him? Isn't going to be even harder when he understands and comprehends the whole adoption process? Won't this confuse him when he is older about his past and his future? It pulls at my heartstrings to hear him tell David and I, "this is too confusing." I cried that day, it saddens me alot, for his sake, he is such a loving and accepting child, and has so much potential. Where does she get off being able to do this?
Well, David has decided it's time to do something, so we ask for everyone's support with this. We sent her a letter, restricting her visitation to public places such as chuck e cheese and monkey joe's so we show up with him and leave with him. It's not like it makes much of a difference, because she cut down her visitation to every other weekend two years ago (due to $$$. She would have to pay for daycare while working and she did not want to do that). But she has not contacted us to set up a time or date of when she would like to visit with him. But this is an option for a controlled environment for visitation where we know that she can not be confrontational, and where we know there is not constant harrassment. This is for Kevin's best interest. Our first conference with the lawyer is on August 17th so we can set up for a hearing. Not sure what his opinion will be as far as what we have a better chance for fighting for, full custody, or child support.
In either case, we are hoping for him to be as happy as he can be at this point. :0)
But we are making progress in the right direction for both kids...and that's a blessing! :0)
In light of all that is going on, let me fill you in. Well as it comes and goes, Grace continued to have many problems when it came to school, there for a while the teacher and I really thought that she would come out of it, but then the last two weeks, the behavioral became an issue again.
So Grace was recommended for ADD/ADHD evaluation and testing. In the progressing months since I last posted, her anxiety level has skyrocketed. I can not walk out to the garage to get food from the freezer for preperation, I can not be in the yard, without her hunting me down every five minutes. Culprit is her sleep pattern. She is not sleeping near as much as she should. We met with the pediatrician in june, and grace is on a sleep aid/anti depressant. The evaluations from her teachers have yet to be returned to Dr. Woodman as of yet. After Dr. Woodman did her evaluation and interviewed Grace herself, her suspicions are of ADHD...Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder...Grace hyper? Nooooo.... Seriously.
But her constant fidgiting and unability to sit still unless she is doing a project she is performing that she PREFERS to do is the only possible way, and even then she seems to get up and dance in her seat, which I as a mother NEVER noticed before. I was in shock and disbelief. In fact if you want to know the truth, since April, I literally have dived into major research about the disorder and tried to figure out exactly what we need to do, and possibilities for treatment. I also struggled with the fact that we have to have acceptance from the family members for her treatment, which may sound easy, but RITALIN has literally has been giving treatment a bad rap for years!!!!!! It's not like they haven't improved medication since then.
I am one to be the hardest to convince that my child needs treatment. But at the same time, she is mimicking behaviors of her father...and as little time as she spends with him, not all of it is environmentally learned. This is genetic. He has graduated from borderline personality disorder to now manic behaviors and severe anxiety, which he is medicated for.
Our issue here, is that Kevin is now mimmicking some attitude and behaviors from his sister...which causes us great concern. How much of it is really him, and how much of it is his sister. We know genetically he may not be perfect (due to his biological parents, since he is adopted), but we really need to understand and define between what is what.
My current struggle is I'm writing a book on all of this.... and now Kevin's "other mother" my husband's ex wife, is now causing issues. Still after two years of Kevin talking and calling me mom, she continues to harrass Kevin about family member name labels. And was confrontational when the little boy told her, "they'll put soap in my mouth if I call her Misty." Why does he have to lie and say something like that to get her to stop, why does his rights as a child have to be compromised by not letting him be a happy child, why continue to confuse him about his upbringing? Isn't it hard enough already for him? Isn't going to be even harder when he understands and comprehends the whole adoption process? Won't this confuse him when he is older about his past and his future? It pulls at my heartstrings to hear him tell David and I, "this is too confusing." I cried that day, it saddens me alot, for his sake, he is such a loving and accepting child, and has so much potential. Where does she get off being able to do this?
Well, David has decided it's time to do something, so we ask for everyone's support with this. We sent her a letter, restricting her visitation to public places such as chuck e cheese and monkey joe's so we show up with him and leave with him. It's not like it makes much of a difference, because she cut down her visitation to every other weekend two years ago (due to $$$. She would have to pay for daycare while working and she did not want to do that). But she has not contacted us to set up a time or date of when she would like to visit with him. But this is an option for a controlled environment for visitation where we know that she can not be confrontational, and where we know there is not constant harrassment. This is for Kevin's best interest. Our first conference with the lawyer is on August 17th so we can set up for a hearing. Not sure what his opinion will be as far as what we have a better chance for fighting for, full custody, or child support.
In either case, we are hoping for him to be as happy as he can be at this point. :0)
But we are making progress in the right direction for both kids...and that's a blessing! :0)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)